Thursday, January 14, 2016

3. ENTER THE FOUR-HEADED GOD


Fig. P1M3

The group of men in orange and green clothing in the town square—now numbering about two dozen— turn toward the figures emerging from the large building in the North. First a silvery android with cat-like features and clutching a slate tablet, steps out, followed by a two-headed ape-ish man carrying a two-headed rat on its back. The mens' laughter dies down to silence. Some, who still haven't noticed what's going on, are murmuring, bent over, as they pick through the bodies in the square.

In a soothing, yet synthetic voice, the android says, "Rejoice workers and companions hear Moses speak as we praise or New God reborn in this wasteland to bring us light, Bzzzt--rzip beep-lo fat meals!! This message has been brought to you by Morn-Start and is subsidiary's, Start your morning right, Morn-Start! Bzzzbleep!" The android, Morn-Start, puts one hand behind his back, hiding whatever it is he's carrying.

“Oh my faithful peasant worshipers, LISTEN TO YOUR GOD! Give us your attention or give us your LIFE! Tell us what has happened here in this town square! Tell us that this was not your doing! Tell us that this was not done in my name! TELL US!” yells one of the simian-esque heads.

“Worship! Attention! Life! My Name! Tell us! TELL US!” yells the other.

A mutant piranha, known as Moses, with a skull helmet on its head and holding a pale white bone like a scepter as well as a silvery blue metallic egg object, emerges and stands to the side of the two two-headed figures. "Your god has returned! Here, now, and in the flesh! OBEY him!" Moses croaks. "Tell the four-headed god what has happened here!" The teeth in his skull helmet rattle as the piranha gesticulates wildly with his bone. "And tell me, His high priest, what tribute do you offer?"

Aloft, the two-headed rat holds a red ring high over his head. The sun, behind a dull-brown haze, catches it and it glints in the air.

All is silent. An aching silence.

The men don't pay any attention to the tubular creatures with feline heads who now walk freely among them. The men in the square, their smiles collapse almost at the same time. They begin to look at one another, searching for guidance in the faces of their comrades. 

98 comments:

  1. [@WHOLE PARTY]

    [Tech] Everyone roll a 1d20. Roll under your Charisma for success. I'll add up all of your Charisma stats. The goal is for the sum of your rolls to be under your collective Charisma.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. [Morn-Start]

      [OoC] Rolls a damn 6.

      Delete
    2. [WINTER BLACKFORD]

      [TECH] Rolls 11

      Delete
    3. [MOSES]

      [TECH] Rolls a lucky 13.

      Delete
    4. [Mickey]

      [Tech] Holy fuck. I rolled a 20.

      Delete
    5. [Morn-Start]

      [OoC] This should be interesting

      Delete
    6. [MOSES]

      [IC] The glands that Moses uses to project his Force Screen tighten nervously.

      Delete
  2. [INVENTORY and STATUS]

    MICKEY - On top of WINTER's back to create a simulacrum of the Four-Headed God, brandishing the red ring. Has the screwdriver tucked in his jeans.

    MORN-START - The blackjack in one hand and slate tablet in the other, holding it up for all the men to see. Also, yelling at the crowd.

    MOSES - Wearing the skull as a helmet and holding the femur bone as a scepter, , also holding his blue steel egg, attempting to act as a cleric or holy priest for the Four-Headed God.

    WINTER - Has MICKEY on top of his shoulders or on his back to creat the Four-Headed God. Still has the smaller steel key with the ring and plastic piece. Gave the sphere from the statue to Celexis to work on with his key. Has the black stone shard in one hand.

    ReplyDelete
  3. [@WHOLE PARTY]

    A smile breaks across the face of the closest man to you. Smiles appear in quick succession on the faces of those around him, and then the whole crowd. The closest man let’s out a sudden, harsh belly laugh. Soon it is a chorus of laughter. The closest man turns to his friend beside him and says something to him in a language you can’t understand, then grabs his gut and laughs. His friend responds in a higher-pitched voice followed by breathless laughter.

    Another man from the crowd, cupping his mouth, yells out to the closest man, “Oy, Brackett! Vard moosha vardess undard Solsosa kip par Buggasnap!” And then the whole crowd laughs.

    “Woo commass pilla buh kempessa Slowwah blesses?” yells the closest man in retort, then chuckles.

    Then the closest man turns to you and produces a flint dagger from a ceramic sheath on his chain belt. Addressing you, with a big smile on his face, he says, “Oy! Solsosa-memmpeck! Woo plummah buh lurt marder Slowwah-tec?”

    Studying his face further you see his whole face is full of small droplet-like pustules. It almost looks as if his face is made of dripping flesh.

    Then, staring at each of you, he starts slowly brushing his constricted member with the flint blade, pushing his hips forward. “Mammlah! Mammlah!” He says, sticking out his tongue.

    Then he hops into a fencing pose and jabs the dagger in your direction a few times, very aggressively, and with terrible seriousness on his face.

    Quickly, he whirls around to the crowd, showing you his back, and throws his hands in the air. The crowd cheers at him.

    ReplyDelete
  4. [Moses]

    [IC] Moses strains his ears to capture every single word the men say to each other.

    [OOC] Can I roll a check against my intelligence to see if I can understand what they're saying?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. [@MICKEY]

      Absolutely.

      [Tech] Roll a 1d20.

      Delete
    2. [Mickey]

      [Tech] Mickey rolls an 18.

      Delete
    3. [@MICKEY]

      You trick your ears forward, concentrating on the sequence of sounds comprising the language. But the language remains indecipherable.

      Delete
    4. [Mickey]

      [IC] Mickey looks at the ring again. He sees the heart in the top quadrant. And the down arrow in the bottom quadrant. And the palm on the left. And the eye on the right. And he wonders, "Are these things buttons? What happens if he touches the down arrow?"

      Sensing a fight brewing and feeling truly helpless before the twisted scene, piled onto a strange two-headed man's back. Mickey rubs the down arrow on his signet ring and prays.

      Delete
    5. [@MICKEY]

      You rub the ring and its smooth surface and pleasant icons give you a sense of calm. But the icons can't be depressed like buttons it seems.

      Delete
  5. [MOSES]

    [IC] "FOOL!" croaks Moses, pointing his bone scepter accusingly at the man with the dripping face. "You dare to mock the Four-Headed God?!? He will turn the skies black above your head! Acid shall rain down upon you! Your measly dagger shall burn like FIRE in your hands!" The piranha-man looks reverently up at Winter. "O mighty one, SHOW these cock-strangled wretches your true power!"

    ReplyDelete
  6. [WINTER BLACKFORD]

    [IC] Winter lets out his best two headed war cry.

    Man Head: “HOW DARE YOU! UNGRATEFUL PEASANTS!”

    Meat Head: “COUSINFUCKERS!”

    [Ooc] Can I freeze/burn this idiot with my temperature control?

    ReplyDelete
  7. [@WHOLE PARTY]

    We enter our first Combat Phase, everyone. The way it will work is this: Since WINTER is striking first, you all have the Initiative. (We won't bother rolling for Initiative in the future—I reckon it'll sort itself out naturally). You guys all go first, then the enemy will go. To keep things moving forward, if you haven't posted a comment for your character's move + attack, or move + action, within 12 hours, the enemy starts their turn. Sound all right?

    ReplyDelete
  8. [@WINTER]

    You can indeed start freezing or burning the closest man. You need to be concentrating when you do it. The first round you roll a 1d6 for damage. The next one it's a 2d6. It keeps increasing by round, up to 10d6.

    [Tech] Roll a 1d6 for damage and let us know whether you're freezing him or heating him up.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. [WINTER BLACKFORD]

      [TECH] Rolled 4 with the intention of hurting him with heat

      Delete
    2. [WINTER]

      [Ooc] Even more specifically I want to burn his dick off for making rude pelvic gestures.

      Delete
    3. [@WINTER]

      [Tech] Roll a 1d20 to see if you can concentrate your power to burn his dick off.

      Delete
    4. [@WINTER]

      Sorry for the late resolution on this. You aren't able to burn his dick off.

      Delete
  9. [Morn-Start]

    [IC] Morn-Start springs into battle, his chromium gleams bright as he whirls his burlap weapon like a bolo and lets it fly aiming for the back of the dripping mans cranium. Then swings his slate tablet at the nearest enemy with his robotic speed. He makes his declaration of war delivered in a friendly dital tone.

    “ Have a complimentary refill, more customers prefer how we slash prices, Can’t stop wont stop, bzziptzz—for dermal remedies try we hit the mark!!”

    [OoC] Do my computer customer service program understand these words spoken?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. [@MORN-START]

      Negative. It seems to be some dialect or language beyond your programmings understanding.

      Delete
    2. [@MORN-START]

      [Tech]
      Attack 1 - Roll a 1d20 + any Dex modifiers (I think you have a -1 on AC Dex's rolls).

      Attack 2 - Roll a 1d20 to hit with the tablet on the closest man. Be aware you are beyond the protection of the Force Screen to make this strike.

      Delete
    3. [@MORN-START]

      I reckon the second attack is on the next closest man, right?

      Delete
    4. [Morn-Start]

      [OoC] I haven't left the team but let me know if I'm not in the bubble

      I have thrown the burlap rock sock at the head of the man I think I have a +1 missile attack. Then I strike what ever enemy is closest.

      [Tech] 11+1=12 and a 13

      Delete
    5. [OoC] If its 4'radius I probably am out of the shield, no problem, I am fighting from the side of Winter I started speaking on.

      Delete
    6. [@MORN-START]

      You definitely hit with the burlap sack missile. (You're right on the +1. I was looking at the AC mod.)

      Delete
    7. [@MORN-START]

      [Tech] Roll a 1d4 for damage with the sack.

      Delete
    8. [@MORN-START]

      Yeah, if you're going to try to attack with the tablet it's going to be beyond the 4 feet where MOSES is standing with WINTER. The men in the square are about 12 to 24 feet from you at this point.

      Delete
    9. [OoC] What about the cat things?

      Delete
    10. [@MORN-START]

      Good question. The tubular feline creatures have moved beyond the crowd. They have slipped of to form a perimeter.

      Delete
    11. [OoC] ok so I attack the closest human.

      Delete
    12. [@MORN-START]

      Right on. The closest human is the guy who was taunting you all.

      [Tech] Roll a 1d20 to hit.

      Delete
    13. [Tech] 13 on the d20 roll, A crumby 1 on the 1d4.

      Delete
    14. [@MORN-START]

      The burlap sack flies through the air, your aim is true. It hits the closest man in the forehead, glancing off, and flying into the crowd.

      I believe you still have an attack with the tablet if you want to take it.

      Delete
    15. [Tech] That 13 was my second attack with the tablet the burlap I rolled a 11+1=12.

      Delete
    16. Dang. Sorry about that. Thanks for keeping track.
      What was the damage on the attack with the tablet?

      [Tech] If you haven't rolled for the tablet's damage, roll a 1d4.

      Delete
    17. [Tech] No prob theres a lot going on in these post, I just rolled a 3.

      Delete
  10. [MOSES]

    [IC] Moses steps close to Winter+Mickey and clenches the force glands deep in his loins. Dim memories of his underwater spawnhood arise, of projecting his invisible bubble to protect himself from crocodiles and other piranhoids. A shield of translucent energy coalesces around them.

    [TECH] The Mutant Lord (that's Ben!) rolls 5d6 secretly for Moses' Force Screen protection. The Mutant Lord keeps track of how much damage the Screen takes.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. [@MOSES]

      Your Force Screen is set up in front of you guys. You feel it pushed out 4 feet in front of you and protects your party as long as they are within the 4-foot boundaries.

      Delete
  11. [Mickey]

    [IC] Mickey hops off Winter's back and lets out a two-headed rat war cry. "Don't fuck with my friends, dickmanglers!" And then he slashes the closest person with a screwdriver.

    [OOC] Ben, is there any way to set the clock on the blog to Eastern Time? I think it's on Greenwich Mean Time or something. Not a big deal, but with the 12-hour limit, might make it easier to manage when to do things. My posts never have the date of when I posted them.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. [@MICKEY]

      [Tech] Roll a 1d20 to hit.

      Affirmative on the ET zone. I've set the blog's time accordingly.

      Delete
    2. [@MICKEY]

      Be aware running and hitting the closest man puts you beyond the protective field of the Force Screen.

      Delete
  12. [Mickey]

    "I AM GOING TO MURDER YOU MOTHERFUCKING SQUEEZEDICKS!" screeches Mickey's two heads, in harmonic unison, a chilling down that sounds like his voice is suddenly autotuned. And with that, Mickey runs straight ahead, arm held straight up, wielding his screwdriver like the bad guy in a horror film.

    [Tech] Mickey rolls an 18.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. [@MICKEY]

      You bury the screwdriver point into the closest man, the one who was taunting you. He appears to be extremely uncomfortable. He's groaning and let's out a terrified shriek, deep from his core, when the screwdriver punctures his drippy flesh.

      [Tech] Roll a 1d6 for damage.

      Delete
  13. [MOSES]

    [IC] As Moses projects his force bubble, he curls back his lips from his heavy jaws and bares his razor-sharp teeth at the men.

    ReplyDelete
  14. [@WHOLE PARTY]

    The closest man who's taunts have turned to sobs of pain and anguish from being psychically burned, being stabbed with a screwdriver, and hit in the head with a burlap sack with a rock in it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. [Mickey]

      [OOC] For some reason, the visual on this a man with a melted face being stabbed with an old screwdriver by a two-headed rat, crotch burned by forces he cannot see, and hit with a rock in a burlap sack just cracks me up. Caption of the visual = "Life, amirite?"

      Delete
  15. [@WHOLE PART]

    Unless MORN-START wants to use his second attack (MORN-START is so fast he has two attacks per round) this concludes your party's combat turn.

    ReplyDelete
  16. [Maolmuire]

    [IC] Thin, emaciated, beady-eyed human Maolmuire crawls out from within the shredded pile of corpses that had seemed lifeless mere minutes before. He sees the weird but beautiful PCs fighting against the orange-and-green-clad men and he begins to stand, then walk, then run toward the battle, seemingly growing in confidence and size with every step. Muscles bulging, sprinting at inhumanely fast speed he leaps at one of the men preparing to attack Moses, attempting to tackle his victim to the ground with such skull-shattering force.

    [Tech] Attack roll is an 8.

    [OOC] Hey guys, jumping in to the game now. My character is Maolmuire Colquhoun a mutated human who is normally pretty weak, and near-sighted, but thrice-per-week can hulk out and double his strength and dexterity and speed. He's also able to regenerate and can create minor phantasms in the mind of a target. I picture him as a weaselly morlock-type who looks like El Borbah when he jacks himself up with his body adjustment mutation, which is what he's doing right now! And he wants to kill all these dudes you're fighting.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. [Mickey]

      [OOC] That's ... fucking awesome.

      Delete
    2. [@MAOLMUIRE]

      Charging forward, your hulking muscles a blur of power, you crash into one of the men in orange and green sending him to the ground. You aren't able to deal any significant damage to your target, but he is now lying prone face down.

      Delete
    3. [OoC] Yeah! Callahan's Roid Ranger to the rescue!

      Delete
  17. [Morn-Start]

    [OoC] this is good news:)

    ReplyDelete
  18. [@WHOLE PARTY]

    Now it seems as though your combat turn is complete.
    It is now the turn of the men in orange and green.

    The men in orange and green are horrified by what's been done, IS being done to their comrade! A scream of rage swells from their ranks, along with harshly shouted words, which the party can only presume are curses. Their feet stamp the dusty ground. They pull at their fleshy faces.

    As a group they move forward, and surround MICKEY, MORN-START, and MAULMUIRE, near the one who was attacked. But they do not strike out. They grab and clutch at MICKEY, MORN-START, and MAULMUIRE.

    The rest move toward WINTER and MOSES ...

    ... and are blocked by MOSES's Force Screen.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. [WINTER]

      [Ooc]Was that their move? Our turn? Can we yell back to Celexis in building #1 and tell him to open the orb with his key?

      Delete
  19. [@WINTER]

    Yes. This is all that the men in orange and green do, swarm your party, rushing forward. You get the sense they want to attack you, harm you, but are holding back.

    The tubular feline creatures form a ring around your party and the crowd of men. They have resumed their "S" shape stance, swaying. They also have begun to chant their guttural rhythm.

    This concludes the enemies' attack turn. It's the characters' turn now.

    ReplyDelete
  20. [Morn-Start]

    [IC] Morn-Start swings the slate tablet, fast in wide arcs to attack and hold off the humans who are reaching for him.

    Tech] 17 and 20 followed by a 2 and 3

    [OoC] I’d like to hit the same trget if possible?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. [@MORN-START]

      The android's arm is a blur as the slate tablet strikes out and connects with a man's temple. The tablet breaks in half on his skull.

      The android strikes out and hits the same man, this time with the tablet's sharp, broken edge.

      [Tech] Roll a 1d6 for a random crit effect!

      Delete
    2. {morn-Start]

      [Tech] rolls a 1

      Delete
    3. [@MORN-START]

      [Tech] Roll a 1d6 for base damage. Then roll a 1d6/2 again for the damage on top of that.

      Delete
    4. [Tech] rolled a 2 and a 6, plus 2?

      Delete
    5. [@MORN-START]

      The taunting man is in bad shape from the beating he's taking at the hands of the silvery, cat-like android, and the two-headed rat man.

      [Tech] He takes two more damage, and three more on top of it. The crit effect was an additional 1d3, so I had you roll a 1d6 divided by two.

      Delete
  21. [MOSES]

    [IC] Moses pops his piranha eyes wide at Winter. "Ready to roll, big man? Shall we give them the old flying wedge?" He crooks his scaly arm and presents his elbow to Winter, ready to sprint forward.

    [OoC] My action is the proposal to Winter, then if he accepts, my move is to charge forward with him through the crowd of men, hopefully rolling over them with my force bubble, and trying to crush them against the black glass stone in the square.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. [WINTER BLACKFORD]

      [IC] Winter shakes his heads clear of the psychic noise his heat attack produced and takes in the situation. There is something deeply familiar about this fish man next to him. A memory way off in the distance tickles his mind, like when remembering the name of that song you love but can't recall the title or the artist...

      Man Head: "I think you have the right idea, cabron!"

      Meat Head: "AFTER YOU!"

      Winter locks elbows with Moses and on doing so notices the matching tattoos on both of their forearms. Roughly the same size and placement, the tattoos read "The 504th Stompers" in a ribbon arcing over a DNA helix with cartoon character eyes and gold toothed grin. Beneath the strange DNA character the words "TENDERIZE YO MEATS BEFORE YOU EATS".

      A calm focus washes over Winter. The massive man-ape mutant feels his chest filling with pride and an overwhelming sense that everyone of these hippies and their fucking turd cats need to die a brutal death. Pronto.

      [Ooc] Winter accepts. I would like to crush all enemies in front of us.

      Delete
    2. [MOSES]

      [IC] "CHARGE!" yells Moses, totally pumped about his and Winter's matching tats. He sprints into the crowd, surrounded by his force bubble, arm locked with Winter. They run towards the black glass altar, but try to roll over as many weirdos as they can.

      [Tech] Not sure how you want to handle this attack, @MutantLordBen, let me know if you need a roll.

      Delete
    3. [@MOSES and WINTER]

      This is amazing. Let's do this first to see how many of the men in orange and green you hit ...

      [Tech] MOSES, Roll a 1d6.

      Delete
    4. [MOSES]

      [Tech] Moses rolls a 4.

      Delete
    5. [@MOSES and WINTER]

      You are able to barrel into four of the men in orange and green!

      [Tech]
      MOSES, roll a 1d20 two times to see if you hit the two men on your side of the Force Screen bubble battering ram

      WINTER, , roll a 1d20 two times to see if you hit the two men on your side of the Force Screen wall of destruction.

      Delete
    6. [MOSES]
      [Tech] I roll a 20! And... a 1. (Wow. Perhaps the gods really are watching, clashing with one another to bless and curse us.)

      Delete
    7. [@MOSES]

      Dang, man. The extreme ends.

      [Tech]

      Roll a 1d6 for the crit effect!

      And roll a 1d6 for the fumble!

      Delete
    8. [WINTER]

      [TECH] I roll 12 and 8

      Delete
    9. [@WINTER]

      One man is crushed beneath the invisible Force Screen against the large stone of black glass. The other is able to roll away just before he smashes into the rock.

      [Tech] Roll a 1d8 for damage on the man you crush.

      Delete
    10. [@WINTER]

      The Force Screen prevents you from feeling the man's body crunch as his ribs break against the unyielding stone of black glass. But you do see his head snap back and blood spurt from his mouth.

      Delete
    11. [MOSES]
      [Tech] For the crit, I roll a 6! For the fumble—a 1. (the theme continues)

      Delete
    12. [@MOSES]

      You mash one man into the large stone of black rock, he bounces off the rock and back into the Force Screen. You are able to attack him again!

      [Tech] Roll a 1d8 for damage on the first hit. Roll a 1d20 because you are able to attack him a second time!

      Delete
    13. [@MOSES]

      The other man is able to squirrel away from any harm from the Force Screen. Despite the fact his comrades are being violently bludgeoned by an invisible wall into a large black stone, he lets loose a hearty, belly laugh and points at you in your protective bubble.

      Delete
    14. [MOSES]

      [Tech] Damage roll is a 1. (cccrrraaap, croaks Moses.) Second attack roll is a 19!

      Delete
    15. [MOSES]

      [IC] While Moses attempts to crush his comrade, he flashes a sea-devil grin at the laughing man. He bares his piranha teeth, extends his middle finger, and licks it with his long forked tongue.

      Delete
    16. [MOSES]
      [Tech] Assuming the 19 is a hit, I roll a 6 on 1d8 for damage. (First I roll up on his feet for one point of damage, then I crush him further against the stone.)

      Delete
  22. [Maolmuire]

    [IC] Maolmuire grabs the sucker he tackled to the ground and attempts to swing and throw him, spinning hammer-toss style, at the assorted orange and green throng.

    He shouts, "LET ME CLEAR THE WAY!" But he can't see very well, honestly. He is aiming at colors. He lets the man-hammer fly.

    [Tech] Attack roll is...a 17.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. [@MAOLMUIRE]

      The spinning man collides with a few of his comrades, hitting one of them squarely in the chest, the hammer-man's head smashes into another, and his legs whip into the groinal area of another.

      [Tech] Roll a 1d6 for damage on the man who was hit squarely. Then roll a 1d4 x2 for damage on each of the other, ancillary men.

      Delete
  23. [Mickey]

    [IC] As the hands and arms close in on Mickey, the two-headed rat begins to panic. "Too many people. Too many pink hands," whines left head. The eyes in Mickey's right head, go wide, two terrified red orbs. He shrieks as he raises the bloodied screwdriver and stabs the drippy faced man again. And again. And again. Until he's dead. Until they're all gone.

    [Tech] Mickey rolls a 12.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. [@MICKEY]

      The screwdriver coated thick with blood, blood spraying from the wound as the screwdriver withdraws and then is plunged back into the man in orange and green, howling in pain.

      [Tech] Roll a 1d6 for damage.

      Delete
    2. [Mickey]

      [Tech] Mickey rolls a 3.

      Delete
    3. [@MICKEY]

      The taunting man, takes 3 more damage!

      Delete
  24. Replies
    1. [@WHOLE PARTY]

      Time for a new post. I'll write it up today. Stay tuned.

      Delete

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